Hi JEMM's!

If I had an archetype, it would be the wounded healer.

 

Traumatic life experiences have tried my heart and spirit in ways I could not imagine. And at the same time, those very experiences transformed me into the person I am today.

Over the years, I naturally sought ways to heal my heart, mind, body, and spirit. But the body was the last piece of the puzzle to come together.

It was easy for me to be in spirit, emotion, or thought—but I found it hard to be in the body. Specifically, I would escape to avoid the pain that came with being in this Black body. As I began to inhabit my body more fully, I realized that healing would require more than just words of affirmation, self-care, healthy eating, and exercise. It required mindful attention that was... unnerving, and it started to explain a lot.​

​

Yes, I healed and became stronger with each experience—but my body wasn't following. I would "know" the right thing to do, set my mind to it, and then find myself doing the same thing over and over.

This led me on one of my many searches to figure out why.

I came across a book called "Moving Beyond Trauma" by Ilene Smith. As I read it, I thought, "That's me! This makes so much sense."

My body was holding all these memories—stuck in a response pattern triggered by familiar trauma. It wasn't my fault. That realization brought me relief and allowed me to cultivate true self-compassion.

Like a wound trying to heal that keeps getting reopened, my body responded to new pain as if it were the old.

And for the first time, I understood:

My body wasn't betraying me—it was trying to protect me.​

​

As I worked through layers of developmental, racialized, generational, and spiritual trauma—familiar territory for me—I discovered something deeper:

Some of what I carried didn't originate with me but was passed down through my bloodline and lived in my body.

Meaning that I had only addressed what I knew mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, but my body remembered something different.

I thought, How can I heal a trauma I don't consciously remember?

And the answer came: 

I don't have to remember. The body does.

All I had to do was work with the body to complete the response cycle... to finally let go.​

​

This connection to the body led me to "My Grandmother's Hands" by Resmaa Menakem. Around the same time, I experienced a spiritual awakening that aligned perfectly with what I was learning.

As The Most High continued to clear the path for my healing, I knew that what I was learning needed to be integrated into my coaching practice. The concept of wholeness emerged from healing the divides between heart, mind, body, and spirit—from a decolonized lens. It's not that this concept was new—it's always existed. Wholeness is ancient. Only through consistent, deliberate assaults on the human spirit, mind, body, and heart is colonization able to wound us enough to live as if these parts could be separated. The trick is to keep us in a constant state of assault and ongoing trauma as if this division is real.

And their favorite part to keep busy?

The mind—because it's easiest to manipulate.​

​

Today, abuse thrives globally, compounding traumatic experiences already present in our lives. The current systems in place perpetuate cycles of abuse with a strong undercurrent of colonialism.

The experiences I had as a single Black woman, mother, fundamentalist Christian, and corporate worker were meant to be crippling under this system.

However, God‘s plan was greater for my life. It moved me to seek out ways to help and heal myself at regular intervals—breaking down the foundations of limiting beliefs and creating paradigm shifts—to become a wounded healer.

​

Through it all, I've found that self-love, in all its forms and expressions, has been the greatest healer of all.

I believe that self-love is the key to overcoming anything we face as Black people in this world.

​

We must love ourselves:

Fiercely to combat harm

Radically to rise above hatred

Gently because we deeply deserve care

Compassionately empathize with ourselves

Unconditionally because we are so loved by The Most High.​

​

I share all of this so that you know—I understand your struggles.

They're real.

I am formally academically trained, but more importantly, life has taught me.

Both my mother and my grandmother have passed, but they left me with a most powerful piece of wisdom that helped me on my healing journey:

Build your relationship with God daily, and keep God first in all things.

I extend that to you. Take care of yourself, JEMM's because you are precious to the Ultimate Healer.

​

Thank you!

I look forward to walking with you on your healing journey.